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The Pied Piper is a Pyromaniac
There once and still is a place called Red Level in Alabama. A straggled beaten old hobo wandered into town one day. He had a rather large bag at his side. A lighter stuck out of the sack. Not one of the ones you use for lighting up some cigarettes or the big hefty cigars but the ones you use to like a blowtorch.
Many people were curious but because of there low attention span were distracted quickly. As he reached the center of town he found a bar. The hobo went in and sat down at a stool next to a bloody Mary and a Black Russian. The man ordered a beer and will waiting noticed a giant wharf rat scurried across the floor, and out the open door. After the monster of a beats waddled out the down a pack of smaller less blood thirst rats followed after him. The stranger was fascinated by the odd site.
The hobo asked the man only other customer captious in the place “What’s up with dem do rats waddled in and out this gosh darn place?”
The man who was actually Bigfoot after he had shaved fully responded” What do you mean my good sir?”
“I mean why do you let the rats come and go as the please?”
“What do you want use to do? Wage war on rats? PETA would have are heads if we even killed one!”
“AHHHHH see what you need is a stranger who you can pay to wipe out these critters without anyone being able to trace him to anything?”
The bartender had been intrigued by the conversation and asked” Know anyone we could use?”
Smiling the hobo said” Why yes I do and he is here right now” pauses as the two look around” It is I Sir Ronald Mohaby Squirrel Thornton Jr. The greatest rat killer, monster truck driver, and reality show contestant ever to live!”
As soon as Ronald had finished his drink he asked” Have any private faculties I could get ready for my crusade in?”
The bartender pointed up the stairs to an open door and Ronald hurried up the stairs as quickly as possible. Five minutes later, Ronald the hobo came out looking like he was ready to do battle with the Koreans Nazi’s and Jap’s all at once. In one hand he had the blow torch started, and in his hand he had a very large and dangerous looking Flamethrower. On his back was a humongous tank that looked to be full of gasoline. At his side he had handgun, 5 cartridges, and an M16 machinegun. Across his chest were a large strap of at least 1000 bullets for the gun and 20 or so hand grenades. He was ready to go. As the he walked down the stairs one or two of the freshly awaken drunks were in awe.
One said “This reminds me a story my granny once told me. I think it was a called Pied Picker or something like that. You must be the Pied Piro.” The others just shook his head in approval of the name.
Ronald continued walking and headed out the door. A large assembly of the rats had gathered. They looked very crude smart and evil. The leader with a small group of his officers came up to him.
The leader asked “My name is Ajejdljouelhdhdldlsleuuddjsljeouehdksahe
“Yes sir now if you excuse me I must exterminate you.” Responded Ronald and as fast as a bullet whipped out his lighter and had already lighted the flamethrower.
With in minutes he had destroyed nearly half of Red Level’s know 8,603 rats. It was not a pretty site. As he continued to fight her realized that they had surrounded him, and from some unknown place more were coming. Ronald made a rush for the bar. When he reached it he entered and so the rats followed. The place was full of rats. Every single rat in town was there. So he set the place on fire. Everything in the place was burned to ash except him he just walked out before any rats could do anything.
That was the last of any Warf rats or Pied Piros ever to be seen in that town for 671 years. The moral of the story is mouse traps are only effective till the rats get huge. Then use flamethrowers and other weapons of the sort.
- No one wants to know where Waldo is
There once was a dragon named Waldo. He was a friendly jumping dragon. Waldo had a problem though. He was a pyromaniac. Waldo did not mean any harm, even though he usually burned down large forests once a month. He had lost most of his friends.
One day will he was jumping in the woods and he landed on a knight. Waldo was so mad at the forest he burnt it all down. The knight was very angry. Luckily for the knight he was wearing his fireproof armor. The knight jumped up and yelled
“You almost gave me third degree burns you freaking idiot!”
Waldo replied “Sorry I didn’t see you, friends?”
The knight did not want to be friends and swung his sword at him. Waldo escaped easily. The knight realized that dragons were very rare and decided to capture Waldo. Waldo was not pleased with this. So he went home and sat in his thinking chair. He decided to rule the world by capturing all the women in the world. Then he decided that it was stupid, because it would be too much work, and he did not like women. So he decided to go burn the knight’s village, but first he had his veggie meal from Wendy’s.
After he finished, off Waldo went. Waldo thought it was a great game to go chasing all the villagers around with his fire. That was his favorite sport next to kick the democrat. He didn’t kill anyone just burned them really badly. Waldo decided to fly near the castle. He always found it fun to chase the court jester around.
Waldo came jumping up to the castle. The knight jumped off the top of the castle onto the dragons back. Waldo started to buck and rock to try and get the knight off his back. The knight gets a ride from the dragon. It was years upon years till the knight came off the dragons back.
In the end the dragon and the knight fell to the ground. It turned out that Waldo was prone to seizures. He had a serious one and he fell to the ground. All of a sudden a doctor appeared and gave Waldo his medicine. Waldo stop twitching and sat up. Later on they opened there own clothing chain. This started the stripe and steal fashions. It was a short lived fashion. Then they moved to Alabama and got married. Its legal there to marry anything you know.
The End
There once and still is a place called Red Level in Alabama. A straggled beaten old hobo wandered into town one day. He had a rather large bag at his side. A lighter stuck out of the sack. Not one of the ones you use for lighting up some cigarettes or the big hefty cigars but the ones you use to like a blowtorch.
Many people were curious but because of there low attention span were distracted quickly. As he reached the center of town he found a bar. The hobo went in and sat down at a stool next to a bloody Mary and a Black Russian. The man ordered a beer and will waiting noticed a giant wharf rat scurried across the floor, and out the open door. After the monster of a beats waddled out the down a pack of smaller less blood thirst rats followed after him. The stranger was fascinated by the odd site.
The hobo asked the man only other customer captious in the place “What’s up with dem do rats waddled in and out this gosh darn place?”
The man who was actually Bigfoot after he had shaved fully responded” What do you mean my good sir?”
“I mean why do you let the rats come and go as the please?”
“What do you want use to do? Wage war on rats? PETA would have are heads if we even killed one!”
“AHHHHH see what you need is a stranger who you can pay to wipe out these critters without anyone being able to trace him to anything?”
The bartender had been intrigued by the conversation and asked” Know anyone we could use?”
Smiling the hobo said” Why yes I do and he is here right now” pauses as the two look around” It is I Sir Ronald Mohaby Squirrel Thornton Jr. The greatest rat killer, monster truck driver, and reality show contestant ever to live!”
As soon as Ronald had finished his drink he asked” Have any private faculties I could get ready for my crusade in?”
The bartender pointed up the stairs to an open door and Ronald hurried up the stairs as quickly as possible. Five minutes later, Ronald the hobo came out looking like he was ready to do battle with the Koreans Nazi’s and Jap’s all at once. In one hand he had the blow torch started, and in his hand he had a very large and dangerous looking Flamethrower. On his back was a humongous tank that looked to be full of gasoline. At his side he had handgun, 5 cartridges, and an M16 machinegun. Across his chest were a large strap of at least 1000 bullets for the gun and 20 or so hand grenades. He was ready to go. As the he walked down the stairs one or two of the freshly awaken drunks were in awe.
One said “This reminds me a story my granny once told me. I think it was a called Pied Picker or something like that. You must be the Pied Piro.” The others just shook his head in approval of the name.
Ronald continued walking and headed out the door. A large assembly of the rats had gathered. They looked very crude smart and evil. The leader with a small group of his officers came up to him.
The leader asked “My name is Ajejdljouelhdhdldlsleuuddjsljeouehdksahe
“Yes sir now if you excuse me I must exterminate you.” Responded Ronald and as fast as a bullet whipped out his lighter and had already lighted the flamethrower.
With in minutes he had destroyed nearly half of Red Level’s know 8,603 rats. It was not a pretty site. As he continued to fight her realized that they had surrounded him, and from some unknown place more were coming. Ronald made a rush for the bar. When he reached it he entered and so the rats followed. The place was full of rats. Every single rat in town was there. So he set the place on fire. Everything in the place was burned to ash except him he just walked out before any rats could do anything.
That was the last of any Warf rats or Pied Piros ever to be seen in that town for 671 years. The moral of the story is mouse traps are only effective till the rats get huge. Then use flamethrowers and other weapons of the sort.
- No one wants to know where Waldo is
There once was a dragon named Waldo. He was a friendly jumping dragon. Waldo had a problem though. He was a pyromaniac. Waldo did not mean any harm, even though he usually burned down large forests once a month. He had lost most of his friends.
One day will he was jumping in the woods and he landed on a knight. Waldo was so mad at the forest he burnt it all down. The knight was very angry. Luckily for the knight he was wearing his fireproof armor. The knight jumped up and yelled
“You almost gave me third degree burns you freaking idiot!”
Waldo replied “Sorry I didn’t see you, friends?”
The knight did not want to be friends and swung his sword at him. Waldo escaped easily. The knight realized that dragons were very rare and decided to capture Waldo. Waldo was not pleased with this. So he went home and sat in his thinking chair. He decided to rule the world by capturing all the women in the world. Then he decided that it was stupid, because it would be too much work, and he did not like women. So he decided to go burn the knight’s village, but first he had his veggie meal from Wendy’s.
After he finished, off Waldo went. Waldo thought it was a great game to go chasing all the villagers around with his fire. That was his favorite sport next to kick the democrat. He didn’t kill anyone just burned them really badly. Waldo decided to fly near the castle. He always found it fun to chase the court jester around.
Waldo came jumping up to the castle. The knight jumped off the top of the castle onto the dragons back. Waldo started to buck and rock to try and get the knight off his back. The knight gets a ride from the dragon. It was years upon years till the knight came off the dragons back.
In the end the dragon and the knight fell to the ground. It turned out that Waldo was prone to seizures. He had a serious one and he fell to the ground. All of a sudden a doctor appeared and gave Waldo his medicine. Waldo stop twitching and sat up. Later on they opened there own clothing chain. This started the stripe and steal fashions. It was a short lived fashion. Then they moved to Alabama and got married. Its legal there to marry anything you know.
The End
amused
sore
predatory
Damn Anyone got a razor???????
content
curious